This is a winning submission for our recent contest by Leslie.

I have chronic daily migraines for 11 years now.  There have been times when all I want to do is bang my head repeatedly against the wall in a foggy painful haze of wanting it to end.  Hours of rolling back and forth in bed in a darkened room, begging for help from the powers that be, from myself, from Energy, from anywhere that would be kindly predisposed to hear my pleas which stem from constant, yet acute suffering, depression, and anxiety.

I often try in every scenario involving other people to put a good face on this condition, which feels, I suppose, like the noble or right thing to do.  Sparing others from my burden.  Unfortunately I then feel a self-imposed sense of being invisible while still needing help.  People sense me or do not know at all, depending on how well they know me or how sensitive and empathetic they happen to be.

This has very much been a journey of self-trust and learning that this is real, not something I’m fabricating.  When I’m not clear on that, it only results in self-guilt.  My own ability to put on a mask of “wellness” sometimes nearly convinces me that I’m to blame for my true experience and feelings under that mask.

Self-acknowledgement and self-trust are essential tools, rather than the weaknesses I initially think them to be.  The more I get in touch with feeling what I really do feel, the more power I access within to release and let that go – some of the suffering that threatens to swamp me.

This is the winning submission from Barbara in our recent contest.  Barbara hosts In Sickness as In Health.

What I’ve learned from coping with pain is that pain not only affects me, it enters into my primary relationship and can become the third partner.  And its needs can dominate and determine when we can socialize, travel, and even work.  When my co-author and I interviewed couples dealing with illness for our recent book (In Sickness As In Health), we heard this voiced again and again.

I’ve learned that as invasive as pain is, having a loving husband by my side can mitigate the impact.  He does 3 things that pain can’t touch:

- He wraps me in love and empathy, which helps me keep my emotions focused on strength.
- He remembers what doctors said, what other healers have said, and what I’ve said, which gives me a context in which to encapsulate the pain.
- He holds the hope, which is perhaps his most important job.  When I sink into the pit and feel doomed, he shines the light and tells me that I will get better.  His certainty becomes my hope.

Pain may live in one body, but if you’re part of a couple, 2 lives are changed.  I don’t underestimate how hard it is to stay in synch with each other under these circumstances.  But the love that brought the couple together, along with some good communication practices, can keep pain from taking over and can create a more healing balance.

This is Tracy’s winning entry for our recent contest.

One thing I have found over the years is that pain seems to be harder to manage if the brain is not occupied with something other than thoughts of the pain.  So depending on the level of pain at the time, I find the following things helpful, and also enjoyable, which is a bonus:

• chatting on the computer
• chatting face to face over a coffee
• playing games on the computer
• playing card or board games with others
• watching a DVD
• reading a book or magazine
• listening to music or a talking book
• meditating – which, if practiced on a regular basis, can be done even when experiencing the worst levels of pain

I’ve found that as long as the sound levels are not too loud, (loud noise can in fact irritate pain), then this can be a great distraction.  And whether you get a break for a few minutes, an hour or longer, it’s a way of coping with your pain.

Tracy hosts Australian RSD / CRPS.

This is Amber’s winning entry for our recent contest.

Pea sprout in Amber’s garden

As I write this, a beautiful spring breeze is blowing through my window, reminding me of the new and unique challenges that come with each season when one lives with chronic pain.

Spring brings allergy season for me and many others, as well as spring winds and thunderstorms that wreck havoc with pain levels.  It also brings more work outside, lawn mowers, and spring cleaning, all of which also affect pain levels.

But just as each new season affects pain in it’s own way, it brings it’s own excitement and enjoyment.  For me, I love gardening, and seeing the new sprouts coming out of the warm dirt each day brings a smile to my face.  I also breed and raise animals, and there is something special about feeling the movement of unborn life developing in the womb that makes me grin.

No matter what struggles life gives you, there can always be a positive.  Just like the new life rising out of the soil and in the womb of my animals, you can find a new life from pain.

This is a winning submission from Karil for the “Write Something to Share” contest.

AFFIRMATION

I know it sounds like I want to die
And sometimes I think I do
Deep down though I know it’s not true
And so everyone should know too

I want to be better, healthy and free
To enjoy my life as it’s meant to be
But I am sick and no one can see
How much it hurts just to be me

I love this beautiful planet though
And so far I’ve refused to let go
I need to learn what I need to know
To learn how to fly
Instead of wanting to die

It feels disrespectful to feel this way
To want to throw this beautiful life away
I apologize to Mother Earth
And thank her for my very birth
Asking in prayer every day
For the Angels to help me find my way

So to my family and friends I say
That for now and ever I want to stay
And please be patient while I find my way

Congratulations to the “Write Something to Share” contest winners!!!  Thanks to everyone who sent in a submission.  All the submissions will be published on How to Cope with Pain in the coming months, starting tomorrow.

A reader Mary shared this article with me from the Pelvic Health and Rehab website.  It’s a very thorough, yet clear summary of pelvic pain disorders.

How do I know if I have PN or PNE? (pudendal neuralgia or pudendal nerve entrapment)

Today is the last day for contest submissions.  Here’s all the info on the Write Something to Share contest.  Hurry!  Your entry could win!

Are you sending in an…

• article?
• poem?
• link to a favorite website?
• quote?
• photograph?
• picture of your art?

What do you want others with pain to know?  What words of wisdom do you have to share?  What websites have helped you the most?

You have 2 days left to enter your submission for our “Write Something to Share” contest.  The deadline is Tuesday, April 30.  I’m looking forward to your contribution!  All entries have a chance of winning one of these prizes:

• The Burning Truth, a mother’s story of her son’s pain condition
• Chronic Pain: A Way Out
• Doctor, Why Does My Face Still Ache?
• When Can We Run, Dance, and Play Again, for families who have a  member with pain
• Knock Out Headaches
• In the Kingdom of the Sick

How to Cope with Pain is currently running a contest, Write Something to Share.  The entry deadline is April 30.

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Here’s a great resource for people with pain:  Pain Pathways magazine.

The magazines works “with associations and support groups throughout the US, bringing together pain resources, news on current products and procedures, expert physicians and the stories of fellow pain survivors.”  Their online edition is free if you sign up.  It always has interesting and helpful information.  For more information, visit Pain Pathways.