{"id":7463,"date":"2016-10-17T06:37:34","date_gmt":"2016-10-17T10:37:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/?p=7463"},"modified":"2017-01-16T17:23:18","modified_gmt":"2017-01-16T21:23:18","slug":"7463","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/7463\/7463\/","title":{"rendered":"Increase Your Happiness – Learn to Forgive"},"content":{"rendered":"

This article is in our series about\u00a0increasing happiness<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0life satisfaction<\/strong>. \u00a0Many people with chronic pain can\u2019t\u00a0decrease their pain. \u00a0So another way to live a more enjoyable and fulfilling life \u2013\u00a0perhaps even more\u00a0important \u2013\u00a0is to\u00a0increase the positive. \u00a0That\u2019s what we\u2019ll be looking at in this series.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let’s\u00a0\u00a0look at\u00a0forgiving and forgetting your past. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Image<\/a><\/p>\n

We’re often mulling over past problems and bad memories. \u00a0By doing that, we’re keeping them with us and continuing to suffer. \u00a0A quote I liked from\u00a0Authentic Happiness:<\/em><\/p>\n

You can’t hurt the perpetrator by not forgiving,<\/em>
\nBut you can set yourself free by forgiving.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It may be something we ourselves did that we can’t forgive ourselves for, or something that was done to us that we can’t forget. \u00a0The goal is to forgive, when you’re ready. \u00a0If you’re not ready, work on getting ready.<\/p>\n

Forgiveness is not forgetting what was done, or ignoring something bad, or just being nice. \u00a0It’s moving on and letting go of the situation’s hold on us.<\/p>\n

Authentic Happiness\u00a0<\/em>recommends these steps, “REACH”:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. R – recall<\/strong> the hurt objectively<\/li>\n
  2. E – empathize<\/strong> with the perpetrator<\/li>\n
  3. A<\/strong> – give the altruistic gift<\/strong> of forgiveness (rise above your hurt and thoughts of revenge)<\/li>\n
  4. C – commit<\/strong> to forgive; write it down or say it<\/li>\n
  5. H – hold on<\/strong> to forgiveness; continue to practice it<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Let’s start with something small – someone doesn’t wait their turn at a 4 way stop sign, and cuts you off.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. R – recall. \u00a0Remember the situation. \u00a0Notice your feelings. \u00a0Now create a story without all the blame and anger towards the other driver.<\/li>\n
    2. E – empathize. \u00a0Perhaps they weren’t paying attention. \u00a0Perhaps they were in a rush. \u00a0Have you ever done something similar? \u00a0Have compassion. \u00a0Put the mistake in perspective.<\/li>\n
    3. A – altruistic forgiveness. \u00a0Forgive the other person. \u00a0It’s ok.<\/li>\n
    4. C – commit to forgive. \u00a0Say it out loud. \u00a0\u00a0Imagine your irritation floating away.<\/li>\n
    5. H – hold on. \u00a0If your irritation returns, practice compassion and wish for peace for the other person.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      So each day write down a mistake you made or a grievance you have towards someone else. \u00a0Practice “REACH”. \u00a0For small things, you might find it easy to forgive. \u00a0Practicing with small things exercises our “forgiveness muscle”, and we’ll be better able to let go of bigger things.<\/p>\n

      Your assignment:\u00a0 Do this exercise once a day.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      This article is in our series about\u00a0increasing happiness\u00a0and\u00a0life satisfaction. \u00a0Many people with chronic pain can\u2019t\u00a0decrease their pain. \u00a0So another way to live a more enjoyable and fulfilling life \u2013\u00a0perhaps even more\u00a0important \u2013\u00a0is to\u00a0increase the positive. \u00a0That\u2019s what we\u2019ll be looking at in this series. Let’s\u00a0\u00a0look at\u00a0forgiving and forgetting your past. \u00a0 We’re often mulling over […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7463"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7463\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7932,"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7463\/revisions\/7932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.howtocopewithpain.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}