How Does Your Disability Affect Your Relationship With God? (Full Disclosure: Irresistable Dog Picture At The End)

July 18th, 2007 · 4 Comments

Imagine for a moment…

being in a wheelchair …
wearing a brace …
needing a hearing aid …
requiring an assistant for self-care or mobility …
having a guide dog …

How would these change your experience of attending your chosen religious services? Is your religious community, if you have one, accepting of your disability or limitations?

Several years ago when my pain condition was at its worse, cold temperatures easily worsened my pain. Despite wearing several layers of warm clothes and bringing a blanket, I was still cold in my Quaker Meeting (the name for a Quaker church). The building isn’t well insulated, and the room was kept at 65º or below. BRRRR… led to… OOWWW!

I started bringing an electric heating pad, which helped a great deal. I then asked if the meeting might purchase an electric space heater to use in the worship space, so those of us that needed to be warmer - older people, people with pain, etc. – would be more comfortable. I was surprised to hear concerns such as:

where will the cord go, so no one trips?
how much electricity does it use?
will it heat the room too much, thus wasting energy?

I was surprised at this level of hesitation, given the usual welcoming tone my Meeting has. The concerns seemed more focused on what problems might arise, rather than how to help a member be able to worship comfortably.

I recently saw a set of questions for those in religious communities to ask themselves, to see how accommodating we are to those with different disabilities and limitations. These were in a wonderful article by Judy Kruger in Friends Journal, May 2007. She is a member of Haddonfield, NJ Quaker Meeting, and has had a serious chronic illness for 11 years, so knows the experience.

She suggests that everyone in the community ask themselves these questions, especially those without - for now - a disability. (She points out that “most people will experience a serious long-term limitation in mobility, hearing, sight, mental capacity, or emotional functioning during their lives,” so those who currently have to imagine a disability are likely to actually experience one in the future.)

What is unique is the approach these questions prompt you to take. The questions aren’t a “do we have this and that” checklist, for example, ”do we have a wheelchair ramp?” Instead, they are questions to reflect on, imagining the experience of living with a disability. And from imagining having a disability, perhaps will come more understanding and accommodations. Ms. Kruger writes…

Please attempt to imagine yourself living with a serious long-term limitation of mobility, hearing, sight, mental capacity, or emotional functioning.

If you had a disability or serious physical limitation, how might your perception of God change?

How might your relationship with God change?

How would you maintain a relationship with your worship community if you were physically unable to attend worship services?

How might your beliefs change?

How would you still live out what you believe?

Do you trust that, if you had been unable to attend worship for some time, others would contact you?

How might the experience of pain or low stamina affect your worship or participation in the community?

How would a visible sign of your limitation, such as a wheelchair, brace or guide dog, affect your worship?

Would your building be easy to navigate?

What support, assistance, and aids do you think ought to be offered and available from your community, without your having to request them?

Ms. Kruger also believes that worship communities should think ahead and offer accommodations, before people need to specifically ask for them. It’s more welcoming. It’s reaching out to people. And it avoids having less assertive people leave a worship community, rather than request something.

Many of these questions would be appropriate for anyone, or any group, to ask themselves.

There’s an American Indian saying that only by walking a mile in another’s shoes will you understand her experience. These questions help us do that.

Be snuggly and cared for!

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