A reader Rochelle asks about a difficult relationship with her grown daughter.

When someone in a family has chronic pain, there are special challenges that come up for the whole family.  We’re looking at some of these on the Friday series about pain and the family.  Unfortunately, having pain doesn’t free you from all the other problems and challenges that happen in families.

Rochelle mentions she has good friends.  When problems occur, talk to your friends and family members for support and suggestions.  Also consider members of your spiritual community, if available, or your minister, priest, or rabbi.

However, there are times when problems are difficult, chronic, or, you need more expertise or time than your friends and family can provide.  I’d recommend…

working with a therapist, especially someone with training in working with families.  Speaking with a therapist gives you a more objective view, different suggestions for dealing with the problem, and expertise in working with family problems.  The AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy) is a good organization to get a referral from, as they require expertise in family work for membership.

Breaking off ties with family members is rarely a good answer.  And certainly working on a relationship before choosing a split is very important.

Rochelle also mentions starting an education program for emergency room staff on how to treat patients with pain flare ups.  Great idea, and much needed.  I hope you let us know how that project comes along.

Good luck, Rochelle.