This article was submitted by a reader Kathy, and is in the running to win a prize. Stop by next Monday to vote for your favorite article in our contest.
Kathy writes:
I have nerve damage on the right side of my face as the result of TMJ dysfunction. This results in big, nasty headaches on that side and jaw pain 24/7. I have learnt:
1. I’m not my pain. I’m a person. Somewhere under the headache, I must be there.
2. Life doesn’t scream to a halt, just because you’re never going to get better. But life probably will get better over time.
3. Patience and perseverance may be fine attributes, but I’d rather get them some other way.
4. It’s ok to want easy answers, along with the rest of the human population.
5. Blaming myself for not getting better helps no one.
6. My coping strategies are only the well-known ones: sleep regularly, and take the meds regularly.
7. Work is a surprisingly good pain control technique - distraction.
One question I have is what to say at an interview when given the question, “Where do you see yourself in X years?” I have no ambition other than to get through the day with as little stress as possible. I have no clear goals, as everything hurts too much to really care. I just hope to be working. What should I say?
Readers, how would you respond to Kathy’s question? Thank you, Kathy, for sharing your coping techniques and thoughts. - How to Cope with Pain
Thanks to Fingers in the Frosting at Flickr for the photo.
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5 responses so far ↓
Rosalind Joffe aka cicoach.com // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Oh, Kathy, I love reading #7: Work is a good distraction. I couldn’t agree more! BUT - as to how to answer the question of where do you see yourself in 10 years? Well, here’s where I think we make it too difficult for ourselves because we worry that since pain (or whatever the debilitating symptom) is causing your hesitation, there must be something wrong with your response. Imagine yourself as someone without pain. What would you say in that instance? Frankly, I don’t know many people who can honestly answer that question - especially in the current workplace where people change jobs so frequently. So, get over the fact that pain makes the future uncertain. Just stay with thinking, “you don’t know”. And, then ask yourself, regardless of why you don’t know, do you want to say that? Or do you want to make something up that the interviewer wants to hear? Normalize, normalize, normalize — your situation.
How to Cope with Pain // Aug 6, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Rosalind, thanks for your thoughts. I’ll be reviewing Rosalind’s new book, Women, Work and Autoimmune Disease in a few weeks! Great book, with excellent advice like she’s written above.
Kathy // Aug 10, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Thanks for your response. I’ll keep it in mind!
Kathy
Matt // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:10 pm
“Where do you see yourself in X years” is a tough interview question even if you are completely healthy! But Kathy is right that the answer to this question can be complicated when you are living with chronic pain. I work with one of the pain clinics near Sacramento, California that offers drug therapies as well as more cutting edge treatments such as bio-oxidative medicine. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to say that you live your life one day at a time because your chronic pain presents you with a set of challenges most people are fortunate not to have to face. That’s honesty, and I’m no HR expert but if they don’t hire you b/c of a health reason, that seems discriminatory to me.
Kathy // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:04 am
I’m in australia and there are laws. However since I am usually doing those low paid low skilled type of jobs-clerical stuff, I think if I was upfront and said I’m sick you by law must accomodate me I think they would decline me on “you don’t have the skills we require” and hire a junior for less money and less trouble.
That said, I’m now in a position where no one thought to ask that question. Thanks for the reply
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