Today’s our first Monday Chat! The topic:
Your Biggest Challenge and How You Cope with It
Today from 12 noon - 1pm (Eastern US time), I’ll moderate these chats in real-time – comment, and get a comment back right away. For the rest of the day today, I’ll check in to see your comments as often as my non-blogging life allows :) and respond to what you say. Stop back frequently to join the conversation!
You’re also invited to send in topics/questions for future Monday Chats. As well, if you’re interested in being a moderator yourself one week – that is, being “present” 12-1 on a Monday - let me know.
*** Never miss a How to Cope with Pain article! Get them delivered directly to you by email or by setting up an RSS feed. If you liked this post, please recommend it at Reddit or StumbleUpon.
12 responses so far ↓
Allyson // May 5, 2008 at 9:46 am
I have been working to obtain supportive services, hile I am waiting for disability adjudication. I don’t have the funds to pay and I struggle daily with some of the most common actions. Even brushing my teeth is a difficult event. Any suggestions?
Esther // May 5, 2008 at 9:51 am
I’m not sure what my absolute greatest challenge is, but one of them is not wanting to do what someone else suggests if it doesn’t result in what I want.
How to Cope with Pain // May 5, 2008 at 9:54 am
Hi Allyson,
Several suggestions…
1. Set priorities. If many activities are difficult, include just a few “must do’s” on your list each day. But don’t just include chores - include as many enjoyable activities as you can, too.
2. Make time for pain management skills - relaxation, visualization, etc. See the pain management class series for ideas.
3. Accept all offers of help, even if it’s hard on your self-esteem. Also, ask for help from many people - friends, neighbors, religious organization, etc. Having lots of different supports will decrease that needed from any 1 person. Most people like to feel useful and needed. Sometimes people don’t know quite what to offer - help them by making suggestions.
Readers, any other suggestions?
How to Cope with Pain // May 5, 2008 at 10:01 am
Hi Esther,
Do you feel you have:
1) a lot of people making suggestions/requests that you don’t want to do, or
2) difficulty saying ‘no’
Can you describe the issue more?
Esther // May 5, 2008 at 11:01 am
What I want, when I want it - now.
How to Cope with Pain // May 5, 2008 at 11:18 am
Esther, so what’s the downside of not doing what others want if it’s not in your interest?
kmom // May 5, 2008 at 2:01 pm
My current biggest challenge is figuring out what to do next. I am no longer able to do the work (nursing) that I used to do. Nursing is much more physically demanding than I can do, my immune system is impared too. I can talk, listen, and have a brain. I can read and write (if I have a computer and on a good day). Do I, in middle age, go back to school? Or just make myself as useful as I can around home? How disabled am I going to become? (things have gotten worse this year)
Debbie W // May 5, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I am so sorry that I missed the chat, but I think that it is wonderful that you are doing this!
Any suggestions on balancing the need to stay in bed and give in to my chronic illness with motivating myself to get up and just live life in spite of the pain and fatigue? It is so easy to just stay put when everything else seems like such an effort at times.
Any words of wisdom?
Thank you!
Debbie
How to Cope with Pain // May 5, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Great question, Kmom. Perhaps helpful in making this decision is deciding what you’d find interesting and meaningful to you. That can be either outside work or being at home - but what would excite you each morning?
If someone can work (paid or volunteer), I usually advocate that, as it has many benefits, e.g. stimulating, meaningful, giving back, financial, social, etc. If you asked yourself what is most important to you, and how could this be “work,” what would your answer be?
How to Cope with Pain // May 5, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Debbie - if it’s at all possible, at least get out of bed. That way you can interact with your family, maybe do something enjoyable - even if the only thing you accomplish all day is tea with your partner or lemonade with the kids.
And the more you can do, the better - not in the sense of “what chores can I do” or “how many items can I do on my to-do list” - but how much that’s meaningful can I have in my day. Family, friends, spirituality, helping others in any tiny way…
That said, if you’ll feel much worse in the land of the living, stay in bed - but no guilt. If you must stay in bed, know you’re doing the best you can, and you can pick up tomorrow.
That’s what I’d say for 1 day. Over a longer stretch, you have to be sure that most days you’re able to get out of bed. If not, time to re-evaluate.
Readers, other thoughts?
Debbie W // May 7, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Good info, thank you! I have to remind myself that illness is aggravated by stress and I have been under a lot of stress during the past several months. I do get out of bed everyday, but it’s just the feeling of wanting to give in and stay there that sometimes gets me. I wasn’t like this before I became ill, and I hate feeling like this now.
I really appreciate the good info that you post here! Thanks again.
Hugs,
Debbie
How to Cope with Pain // May 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Debbie, I wonder if something special might also give you the sense of comfort that staying in bed does… maybe staying in pj’s all day, taking a nap during the day, having pancakes for dinner…. the idea of giving yourself a fun, extra break.
Hmmm… maybe I’ll take myself up on those pj’s…
Leave a Comment