Comments on: Is Your Marriage Affected By Pain? http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 08:18:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Mike http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/comment-page-1/#comment-17886 Mike Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:38:18 +0000 http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/#comment-17886 Hi! I have been battling with Chronic pain for over 15 years. Pain has practically destroyed my marriage. I'm on Permanent Disability and my wife is the "bread winner".. You can imagine how that makes me feel as a man.. I live on a fixed income ect. SSD.. My prayers and concern go to you and your spouse.. Hi!

I have been battling with Chronic pain for over 15 years. Pain has practically destroyed my marriage.

I’m on Permanent Disability and my wife is the “bread winner”.. You can imagine how that makes me feel as a man.. I live on a fixed income ect. SSD..

My prayers and concern go to you and your spouse..

]]> By: How to Cope with Pain http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/comment-page-1/#comment-13484 How to Cope with Pain Sun, 28 Dec 2008 13:27:01 +0000 http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/#comment-13484 Matt, thanks for your honesty. Pain often has a way of making us focus on ourselves. And you're right, that needs to be watched. Keeping the lines of communication open - so situations like the one you described can be discussed - is crucial. And talking about our relationships in supportive and non-blaming terms can create room for progress, rather than more hard feelings. Matt, thanks for your honesty. Pain often has a way of making us focus on ourselves. And you’re right, that needs to be watched.

Keeping the lines of communication open – so situations like the one you described can be discussed – is crucial. And talking about our relationships in supportive and non-blaming terms can create room for progress, rather than more hard feelings.

]]> By: Matt http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/comment-page-1/#comment-13398 Matt Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:55:34 +0000 http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/#comment-13398 I am the spouse with chronic pain and sometimes we need to look within our personalities and how they have changed with our illness. I know that with all the problems we face just living we sometimes do not take responsibility to look out for our loved ones emotions. I got so used to having her take care of me I forgot I needed to take care of her. The small things, that granted are not easy, like cooking or doing the dishes when I could would have made a big difference. I was stuck so deep in my own psychosis I forgot to, every now and then, look after her well being. It is a bad habit but unfortunately I allowed myself to become self involved with my own problems. Who wants to be married to that? I am the spouse with chronic pain and sometimes we need to look within our personalities and how they have changed with our illness. I know that with all the problems we face just living we sometimes do not take responsibility to look out for our loved ones emotions. I got so used to having her take care of me I forgot I needed to take care of her. The small things, that granted are not easy, like cooking or doing the dishes when I could would have made a big difference. I was stuck so deep in my own psychosis I forgot to, every now and then, look after her well being. It is a bad habit but unfortunately I allowed myself to become self involved with my own problems. Who wants to be married to that?

]]> By: Barbara K. http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/comment-page-1/#comment-5676 Barbara K. Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:50:13 +0000 http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/#comment-5676 I feel for you and your situation Debbie. It's hard enough just dealing with the pain. My pain inserted itself into my relationship and forced me & my partner to adapt in ways we never imagined. I think Dr. Kannerstein's advice is important. One of our biggest lessons was that we needed to communicate - more, and especially about the hard stuff (fears, helplessness, sexuality, anger, and love). I have a blog that focuses on couples and illness: http://www.insicknessinhealth.blogspot.com I wish you and your partner strength and pain-free health. I feel for you and your situation Debbie. It’s hard enough just dealing with the pain. My pain inserted itself into my relationship and forced me & my partner to adapt in ways we never imagined. I think Dr. Kannerstein’s advice is important. One of our biggest lessons was that we needed to communicate – more, and especially about the hard stuff (fears, helplessness, sexuality, anger, and love).

I have a blog that focuses on couples and illness:
http://www.insicknessinhealth.blogspot.com

I wish you and your partner strength and pain-free health.

]]> By: allie http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/comment-page-1/#comment-5672 allie Sat, 16 Feb 2008 12:10:26 +0000 http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/blog/197/family-marriage-pain/#comment-5672 OHHHH! This makes me so mad! What about for better or for worse???? I'm so lucky to have a wonderful caring spouse! I KNOW it is hard for them. But, to think the grass is greener on the other side is not necessarily so. HE will be sorry if he leaves you! And, he definitely does not deserve a wonderful person such as yourself if he does leave. Just my two cents... OHHHH! This makes me so mad! What about for better or for worse???? I’m so lucky to have a wonderful caring spouse! I KNOW it is hard for them. But, to think the grass is greener on the other side is not necessarily so. HE will be sorry if he leaves you! And, he definitely does not deserve a wonderful person such as yourself if he does leave. Just my two cents…

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