These verses were submitted by Denise for our December contests.

I Am Still Me

My disease after all these years
Has brought to light many fears

Though I hurt every day that I live
There, inside of me, is still so much to give

Some of you don’t recognize me as still the same
And it often causes misunderstanding, hurt, neglect and blame

My dreams in life have remained intact through it all
So please stop laughing and judging as I stumble and fall

The hope of a better tomorrow is always what gets me through
My faith in God and miracles gives me a life anew

My message today very simply put for all of you
Is “I AM STILL ME” through and through!

 Memories

As I watch the snow fall, I am reminded of all the things I use to enjoy before chronic pain.  I always looked forward to winter, especially the first snow when everything is white and so clean.  The snow clings to the branches, weighing them down, creating a brand new landscape from the season before.  I enjoyed building snow forts as a child with my Dad and playing war with the snowballs we spent all day making.  Sleigh riding at George’s golf course was always a blast, especially when you came home wet and cold and hungry, and mom had hot cocoa and cookies waiting for us.

Snow angels always gave me a new perspective, looking up to the winter sky and catching snowflakes on my tongue.  Not another soul seemed to exist and life was grand.

Even as an adult, a few years ago, I would love to go out and throw snowballs at the dogs and watch them run around playing and burying their snouts in the mounds of snow!  Those memories come back to me each winter, but now my perspective is from the living room window watching, with distaste, the cold stuff falling, knowing the colder it gets and the more snow that falls, the more pain I’ll be in.  It reminds me of all the things I can no longer do or enjoy without suffering terribly afterwards.

I do however reflect on this and realize what a wonderful childhood I did have, and how very lucky I was to experience all those things at all!  My parents always made sure we had what we needed and most times what we wanted (within reason of course).  So for that, I am thankful and can now look back and smile, for the memories we create stay with us forever.  Pain or no pain, we can relive those experiences by remembering!!!

Thanks to Denise for some beautiful words!   Thanks to Jennyree for the photo.  Grand Rounds, a medical-blog carnival, is posted this week by a llama and a woodchuck (with a little help from Dr. Rob) at Musings of a Distractible Mind.