In response to my previous post, Are You Kind To Yourself When Things Go Wrong?, Jeisea, my fellow pain blogger, has written a guest post today.  Her wonderful blog is CRPS/RSD - A Better Life.

* * * * *

In the past, it was thought that having good self-esteem was all important.  While it is important to feel good about ourselves, self-esteem can go too far and become “all about me.”  This can create a sense of entitlement, which can lead to arrogance and abuse.

In Are You Kind To Yourself When Things Go Wrong?, self-compassion was mentioned.  With life changing circumstances such as chronic pain, questioning and doubt can arise in each of us.  Could I have done things differently?  Should I be taking all this medication?  Am I trying hard enough - or too hard - in physical therapy?  Am I being selfish when I expect people to make allowances for me?

Whereas it’s good to be aware that we all can improve in some ways, agonizing about it not only gets us nowhere, it’s counter-productive in terms of worsening symptoms.

Mark Leary, Psychology Professor at Duke, believes that self-compassion can help us stop agonizing over problems, and, while not minimizing the fact that we have problems, allow us to accept ourselves and get on with our lives.  Unlike self-esteem, self-compassion doesn’t become self indulgence.  People who have self-compassion accept responsibility for themselves, and show empathy for both themselves and others.

Thanks to Jeisea for these thoughts!