Today is Independence Day in the US, marking our  independence from Britain.  Our holiday is celebrated with parades, watermelon and fireworks.

Independence also has significant meaning for people with pain.  How would you answer this excellent question I received from a reader recently?

My situation is that I’m single and live alone.  I appreciate I
don’t have to expose loved ones to my daily struggles and worry about having them negatively affected.  What’s most difficult for me is to actually ask others for help, or share with them my struggles and pain.  Instead, I probably push myself too much and overdo activity, with the result being my pain flares up.

In your practice and experience, are there others who try to push themselves too much?  who don’t reach out for help when they need it?  who try to conceal their pain from those around them?

Yes!!!  (Ka-boom of fireworks in the background for emphasis )

Personally, as a doctor who’s used to helping others, being will to accept help was a great challenge for me.  I declined offers of help, even when I couldn’t use my right arm very well.  Finally a friend came over with soup one evening, after which I finally relented and gradually let friends and family help me more.

I grew to believe that both independence, as well as interdependence is crucial.  Independence - we need to still do as much as we can.  Interdependence - we need to be able to both help and be helped.

I was also very interested in what some of my fellow pain bloggers would have to say in response to this great question.

So today I’m hosting a blog carnival for you.  (For those of us just learning these blogging terms, a carnival is when 1 question or topic is addressed by several bloggers, each on their own blog, with a central blog supplying the links.  Sorry if you thought a carnival would get you peanuts, popcorn, and merry-go-round rides

Thanks to my blogger friends and colleagues who’ve written about this topic!  Here are their thoughts…

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CRPS-RSD, A Better Life writes Just A Spin On The Perspective.

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Migraine Chick writes: “M” is for Migraine.

How a simple task like driving to work and parking your car can become a crisis, when you combine being a migraine chick with being too overly independent.
 
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A Chronic Dose writes Independent…or Just in Denial?

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Chronic Babe writes How Asking For Help Has Brought Me Closer To Friends.

When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I never wanted to ask others for help.  Over the years, I’ve learned that friends WANT to help - and by asking for their help, I’m often strengthing our relationships.

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Somebody Heal Me writes A Retreat From Independence.

Living with chronic migraines has been an exercise in retreat from independence.  I have lost my identity and livelihood to migraines, forcing me to re-examine my life plan and accept my new reality.

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Thanks again to my fellow bloggers for their excellent thoughts!!  If you’re a reader, did you like this carnival format?  If you’re a pain blogger, would you like to contribute to a future carnival?  Let me know here!